Stardust vs Mark Force

[Mr. Mischoff]

You two RP here.

[Mark Force]

“The King Of Old School”
Mark Force
0-1

ACT I

“Do something wonderful...people may imitate it.”
Albert Schweitzer

The scene opens to Mark Force. He is handcuffed, and bloody.

Mark Force : IM NOT FUCKING CRAZY! Please! Ryan? Help, man!

Ryan puts his hand on Mark’s shoulder.

Ryan Barrett : I am, dude. I am helping you.

Mark Force : [looking towards an unseen person] This is your fault, bro. I’ll never forgive you.

-- 8 HOURS EARLIER --

The scene opens to a dirty apartment. It’s the same dirty apartment as last week. Same pizza boxes, same old wrappers....only, they’ve been covered by newer, nastier pizza boxes and wrappers. Mark is asleep on the couch. He just looks incredibly out of shape...like some sort of coked-up alchoholic love-child of Artie Lange. A knock at the door

KNOCK
KNOCK
KNOCK

Mark doesn’t stir. The person attempts to push the door open. Trash is piled up behind the door, so, it opens slowly. Suddenly aware to the racket , Mark sits up. He is still bloody, and in his wrestling singlet. Shawn Starr’s fist imprints are still all over his face.

Mark Force : I’m warning you, intruder. I am a world class professional wrestler. I’ve got 7 kills, and 3 manslaughters on my record. Enter at your own risk.

Voice : Is that any way to treat me?

The voice pokes his head through the door. Mark’s face turns from anger...to horror.

Voice : I mean, I’m your brother, right?

Fake Mark Force : Mark. Dude. What are you doing here?

Real Mark Force : I don’t know, Frank. I’ve been getting all sorts of emails congratulating me on a job well done in the TV Title tournament. Now....considering, I’m in fucking South Africa...and haven’t wrestled in ages....this left me quite confused. So, I logged on the internet...

Fake Mark Force : They have the internet in South Africa...? I thought it was just deserts and shit.

Real Mark Force : You’re an imbecile, bro. Of course they have the internet in South Africa. So, you really thought I wouldn’t find out about this? You stole my identity!

Fake Mark Force : I don’t know, man. I thought I’d get through more than 1 match before I had to worry about it.

Real Mark Force : Well. You were wrong. For the record...look how fat you are. We may be twins, but, I’m pretty surprised that anyone believed you were me. And your face. Ughhhh. If I had a baton right now.....

Fake Mark Force : Uhhh...well....look who is talking! You’re fat!

The 2 Mark Forces engage in a super lame slap-fight. A teenage-girl-sleepover-pillow-fight would be more dangerous. The real Mark pokes fake Mark in the eye, and starts pulling his hair. He pulls back, disgusted.

Real Mark Force : Ew. Dude. Seriously. That freakin’ mullet of yours is greasy...and ….. and.....gross.

Fake Mark Force : You’re gross!

Fake Mark charges, and the slap fight resumes. Real Mark does a drop-toe hold, and Fake Mark crashes through the coffee table. Real Mark straps in a headlock.

Real Mark Force : Who’s the best? Huh? Huh? Who’s the best?

KNOCK
KNOCK
KNOCK

Real Mark releases the hold.

Real Mark Force : You tell anyone I’m here, and I’ll hurt you worse. If people know about me, I won’t be able to use you to get what I want.

Fake Mark gathers himself, and walks to the door. He opens it just enough to peek outside. The Landlord is standing there....hands on hips.

Landlord : Will you knock off that racket!? Other people live here y’know!

Fake Mark : Im sorry. Im sorry.

The Landlord peeks past Fake Mark. Trash everywhere. Trash on the floor, shelves, couches. A vintage Mark Force doll hangs from the ceiling fan.

Landlord : WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO THE APARTMENT!? I’m evicting you! You hear me!? Clean this place up! Ugly, greasy pig!

Fake Mark shuts the door in his face. Real Mark returns. He looks around the apartment...disgusted.

Real Mark : Dude. I hate what you’ve done with the place. I gave you this apartment as a courtesy when I moved to South Africa. If Id know it would look like *this*...I would have left you homeless.

Fake Mark : Look. I got a good thing going here, Mark. I was *this* close to being the TV Champ. Can’t you just forget about this? Go back home, let me have this one thing.

Real Mark : Look. Pro Wrestling was my life. I made quite a big name for myself. When I walked away, I was pretty happy with how my name would carry on. I had money...health...fame.

Fake Mark : Okay...?

Real Mark : Get to the point, right? Okay. I will. You can continue to do the legwork, and wrestle as Mark Force...but, I’m getting half.

Fake Mark : Ha. I’ll just come clean.

Real Mark : Dude. That will never work. USPW is paying you because they think you’re Mark Force. Frank Force is worth SHIT to them.

Fake Mark realizes that he has a point. He sits down, and places his hands on his forehead. He notices a slice of uneaten pizza on the ground next to him. He picks it up and eats it.

Fake Mark : Brother. I can’t give you half. I already give half to Ryan, my manager.

Real Mark : Then you’re a fucking moron. Tell him he’s getting a pay cut. Now. I’ve gotta get back to the hotel and call my lady. She’ll be worried. I’ll be back after your match on Friday to collect my money. Also, I’ll deal with the asshole landlord...don’t you worry about that.

Fake Mark finishes his pizza, and digs around until he finds another slice. He gets up and walks over to the TV. He recorded the USPW event onto a blank VHS. It was time to pop the tape in and rewatch the match. Well, he thought he recorded the USPW event. Instead, it was a “Golden Girls” marathon. Defeated...Fake Mark heads to the USPW gym. He doesn’t wanna work out or anything, sometimes they have free food and soda. Fake Mark loves free food and soda. Upon arrival to the USPW Gym, a young man notices Fake Mark.

Young Man : Good afternoon, Mark. I’m Dave. I’m with USPWFTW.COM. I’m a huge fan. Would you do an interview for my blog?

Fake Mark : Sure, you little bastard. Do you want my autograph or something?

Young Man : No. That’s okay. I’m waiting for Stardust. How do you feel about the finals match you had with Shawn Starr?

Fake Mark : I fuckin’ lost. How do you think I feel? Obviously, I was better than him. Unfortunately, during the match he whispered that if I didn’t let him win...he would kill 10 women.

Young Man : I’m pretty sure that didn’t happen.

Fake Mark : Well, I’m pretty sure you weren’t there, you little peckerhead. His exact words words were much more vulgar than that. Lucky for him, I’m a stand-up guy and won’t repeat them on TV. But...yeah. I just want to warn the police. Shawn Starr threatened to murder 10 women if I didn’t let him win. So, that’s why I laid down and let him win.

Young Man : This is not going on TV. You can’t just accuse people of stuff like that and get away w---...

Fake Mark : Yeah, I can actually. I’m Mark Force. I could have easily defeated Shawn Starr, but, I’m too much of a hero. Stardust better watch out. I don’t like to beat up old people, but his washed-up ass is TOAST.

Fake Mark has grown tired of this little punk’s face... so he grabs him by the neck. The interviewer, with little to zero training, successfully reverses the DDT. He then puts Fake Mark in a sleeperhold. Fake Mark taps. The interviewer raises his hand in victory and spits on Fake Mark. For 10 minutes...Fake Mark is sprawled across the floor. Real Mark steps in and helps him to his feet.

Fake Mark : What are you doing here, man? If someone sees you...our plan is screwed!!!

Real Mark : How would someone see me?

Fake Mark : Huh?

Ryan Barrett comes around the corner...

Ryan Barrett : Ive been looking for you! Who were you talking to?

Mark Force : Ryan. He’s here. Mark, you can come out now.

Ryan Barrett : He who?

Mark Force : My brother. Mark Force. The real Mark Force is here. He found out about what’s going on. He wants 50% of my earnings.

Ryan Barrett : Mark? I talked to your brother earlier today. He’s not happy about what you’re doing...but in the end...he’s retired in South Africa with the love of his life. He’s not *here*.

Mark Force : But...I was just talking to him!

Ryan Barrett looks around the room. There are no exits. It is at this point that Mark realizes that he got fucking M Night Shyamalan’ed. Sitting on a box across the room is a vintage Mark Force doll.

Mark Force Doll : Okay. So I’m not really your brother. I’m just your imagination. Seriously, though, you gotta give that guy Ryan a pay cut. 50% is just too much.

Mark Force : [Pointing at doll] YOU! You Talked!

Ryan Barrett : [Confused] Nobody said anything, man.

Mark Force : The doll! The doll is talking. I talked to the doll.

Ryan’s phone rings. He answers, and shoots a glare at Mark. Ryan says “okay, yea, he’s here” and hangs up the phone.

Ryan Barrett : What did you do man? Your landlord is in the hospital. He says you beat him up.

Mark Force : It wasn’t me! It was the doll!

Mark Force Doll : That guy was an asshole. I did you a favor!

Mark Force : See?!?! He just admitted it!

Ryan Barrett : It’s just you and me here buddy.

Mark Force gets enraged. He attacks the Mark Force doll with a spear. The doll reverses into a drop toe hold. Or, Mark just really sucks at the spear. Its impossible to tell. Police soon arrive and handcuff Mark. They drag him outside to a police cruiser. He is pleading with the officers.

Mark Force : IM NOT FUCKING CRAZY! Please! Ryan? Help, man!

Ryan puts his hand on Mark’s shoulder.

Ryan Barrett : I am, dude. I am helping you.

Mark Force : [looking towards an unseen person] This is your fault, bro. I’ll never forgive you.

As Mark is shoved into the car...the camera pans back. He was not yelling at an “unseen person”. It was the Mark Force doll, which was being dumped in the trash by some random janitor.

Some Random Janitor : LEMON PLEDGE, MOTHERFUCKERS!



OOC : Mostly character development...yadda yadda yadda. My bad. More opponent trash talk next time.

[Stardust]

"You are as old as you feel. So why do people think I am old? Guess it's cause I've been in this business for so long? Yea I should hang it up. Not be one of those guys grasping at a career that is no longer grand. Well my career has not been all that good. Unless you listen to all the haters. I've had a full career."

"Comments have been passed that I haven't done much. I have, you just were not around. I have held gold in my career, just cause again you were not around, does not make it so. I have. Yes, we all know. I choke, I have an EPIC FAIL when it comes to big matches, I don't win many a title and I don't hardly ever win that World Title. So?"

"I stick around cause I love the industry. I wrestle for the fans. It was for titles before, than it was for money. But my eyes have been opened and I know the truth. It is the Fans. They are who I wrestle for and I as stated before, I intend to retire here in USPW. Titles or no titles."

{We open to Stardust just taking it easy. Wearing blue jeans and a white shirt with "EPIC FAIL, NOT!" Written on the front. Off to the side is his newly won six man tag title He glances at it and smiles.}

Stardust:It was a team effort, but got my first title. When we next defend it. I will do more than when we won it.

{He offers up a smile and than continues.}

Stardust:They say you are as old as you feel. Guess people see me as an old washed up man? You know who you are. Guess it is okay. I have that old man smell to me. That wear and tear you get from all those bumps and bruises. Traveling on the road. The Life of a Wrestler. So it is bout that time that retirement be talked about. I have set in my mind. It will happen.

{Again he takes a pause and than continues.]

Stardust:It will happen on my terms. Not no one elses. So till than, it's gonna be wrestle, wrestle, wrestle. This week. Mark Force is the name drawn. Tough loss last week. Hate to the one to toss in a second loss. But this old dog still has fight in him and he will show it time and time again. So be ready, it's comming.

{He smiles and poses for the camera as it fades to black.]

[Mark Force]

“The King Of Old School”
Mark Force
0-1

ACT II


“Rule 17: Don't turn your back on bears, men you have wronged or the dominant Turkey during mating season. ”
Dwight Schrute

[/i]
[/center]

We fade in to Mark Force. He is in a wheelchair , being wheeled out of the North Washington Mental Hospital.

Mark Force : I’m not crazy, motherfucker. Get me outta this wheelchair.

Mark stands up and pushes the nurse. She gives him a hurricanrana, and walks back into the hospital. Mark tries to pick up the wheelchair to smash it, but, he’s much too weak. So, he just pushes it over. Then, he gives a big middle finger to the wheelchair, the hospital, and just the world as a whole. He turns around to find Ryan waiting in the Ford Pinto. Mark opens the door, and climbs in.

Mark Force : Thanks for meeting me. I fuckin’ Shawshank Redemption’ed that shit, dude. Narrowly escaped...they won’t know Im gone for at least 6 hours. Hurry.

Ryan Barrett : Your doctor said I should stop letting you weave these ridiculous stories. Its not healthy.

Mark Force : It’s not gonna be healthy when I weave my foot into your lower intestine.

Ryan tries to drive away angrily....but, it’s a Ford Pinto....so the thing putters and dies.

Ryan Barrett : You really drive me crazy, you know?

He starts the car back up, and heads to Mark’s apartment. When they arrive, Ryan doesn’t say a word. He just motions for Mark to exit the vehicle. Mark steps out, and trots up to his apartment where he finds a place on the couch. After an unknown amount of time, he nearly jumps out of his seat when he sees the Mark Force Doll sitting next to him.

Mark Force : ...This is all your fault. People think I’m a fucking loony toon.

Mark Force Doll : …

Mark Force : Whatever, man. Why do you have to do all this shit to sabotage me? Why can’t you help me?

Mark Force Doll : …

Mark Force : Well...take this match against Stardust, for example. Maybe you could distract the ref while I smash him with a chair?

Mark Force Doll : …

Mark Force : Dude. Wheres your head at? Of course it will work. Refs always seem to get distracted at the most inopportune times. Itll be a cakewalk.

Mark Force Doll : ….

Mark Force : Scared ? Of course I’m not scared. Stardust may be some sort of uber-champion, but, it’s obvious he doesn’t have the desire to win anymore. He’s like an old dog that’s just had enough, and goes out on the porch to die.

Mark Force Doll : ….

Mark Force : Shut up. That was a kick ass analogy. It was so kick-ass that I would make out, and have babies with it, were the technology available to do so. I know you’re all butthurt because I’m the talent now, and you’re just the dude on the couch eating hot pockets....but, you’re just gonna have to suck it up. I’m a superstar, baby.

Mark Force Doll ….

Mark Force : How am I supposed to know? I think Stardust is his real name. His parents must have really hated him.

Mark Force Doll : …

Mark Force : That is a great question, brother...and you’re right. I hate going up against these little guys, with all their top rope shit. I’ve been harvesting a lot of muscle underneath this cool exterior, and I don’t have time to climb up and down the stupid turnbuckle. If the good lord wanted us to jump off the top rope, he would have made the ring out of a trampoline.

Mark Force Doll : …

Mark Force : Nuh-uh! My promo skills are legit. I wish a cameraman was here right now to record this. They’d be all looking at each other like “Yo, this shit is gold.” And, they’d nod at each other. High fives would be going around. Frankie Image would even give them raises for capturing a MASTER at work.

Mark Force Doll :...

Mark Force : No one’s good at ending promos. If this were a real promo, there are a couple of ways I could choose to end it. First, I could be cool, and just throw the microphone down like this.

He looks around his trashy apartment and grabs a vase....spiking it into the ground.

Mark Force : Or, I could be like Stone Cold, and say something bad ass. FEEL THE FORCE!!!!!!!!

Mark grabs another vase, and spikes it into the ground. He walks around his apartment, and holds up his hands...pretending to be taking in the fans’ praise.

Mark Force : See....I *could* end a promo like that...but, Im the King Of Old School, Mark Force.

Mark Force Doll : …

Mark Force : RIght, you’re Mark Force....but, for the purpose of this metaphorical interview....I’m Mark Force. And, I don’t like to be cliche and have these scripted endings to my promos. After my promo is over, I want the audience to be like.....”What in the hell did I just watch?”

Right on cue, a big grizzly bear breaks down the door.

Mark Force : What the fuck? A POLAR BEAR!

Grizzly Bear : ROAR. ROAR. ROAR.

The Grizzly Bear is quite upset to be mistaken for a Polar Bear. In the bear community, there is a real beef among the 2 species. To protect his family name, the bear charges Mark Force, and gives him a Stunner! He then roars at Mark’s defenseless corpse a few times as the scene ends.