Post by "Classy" Mike C on May 9, 2012 4:49:52 GMT -6
Ducktales...
Mike C wins! Mike C wins! MIKE C WINS!
Sorry to channel a well known Oklahoma native but boy am I excited! USPW's resident America-basher is now USPW's World Champion and your narrator is rather excited about it! Next task...holding onto the gold.
Wrestlefest seems a lifetime ago now but boy was it quite a show, and the promise of all this 4CCW talent flooding the roster makes it all the more exciting. But it's the main event of freedom that will see the excellence of Wrestlefest and the excitement of the new arrivals collide...Mike C vs. CJ Swift...title for title.
USPW fans might not be aware of CJ Swift..."The Platinum Prince"...other than his turn on commentary and subsequent assault after the main event at Wrestlefest. But don't worry, Classy Mike C has prepared something to whet your appetites for the big match...
And that's where we open...a cartoon. Remember Ducktales? Remember the theme music? God the 90s were awesome. Well that's where we begin...the Ducktales music kicks in...the video start...and yes, it's the Ducktales intro...except...except instead of Scrooge McDuck we've got the "Platinum Prince"...or at least we've got his head crudely super imposed on Scrooge McDuck's body. So we see him swimming around in his vault full of money, we see him hanging out with Screwy, Huey and Dewey (or whatever the hell they were called), we see him as a cartoon. And then when all that fun is over we cut...cut to the World Champion in his locker room.
Mike C is admiring his belt. Let's make one thing clear; he won't be trading this one in for a United Kingdom belt anytime soon. Oh no, he's champion of the whole, entire world now. Somalia? He's champion of there! Luxembourg? Yep! French Guyana? You know it! Mike C is literally everyone's champion. And that gives him quite a wonderful platform.
Mike C: Wrestlefest...the completion of two months hard work...the night that my mission became fully-formed...the night that America stopped being the United States of America and started being the USA!
I think he means it in the United Soldiers of Anarchy sense...
Mike C: What a night it was...and I tip my cap to my opponents. Phanny, I beat you black and blue...and you still made it to the ring. Sure you came third, but think about it this way...in a threesome you did the best! And Mark Force...for all your hot pocketing and lack of wrestling nous you were a noble opponent. I believe you're questioning joining forces with the USA because of my cohorts? Well...there's many conversations to be had and I'm sure we'll be having them soon. But my focus isn't on you gentlemen now...my focus is one the man who personifies everything I hate about this country...my focus is on "The Platinum Prince"...
Uh-oh Swifty, Mike C does not look happy. Sure Phantom annoys him and Mark Force confuses him but you look to have pissed him right off. Not a good idea.
Mike C: C...J...Swift. It's strange, the one time in my life that USPW fans have actually applauded me was soon followed by you cowardly attacking me. What does that say about being supported by the USPW faithful? You come over here from 4CCW dressed like a cartoon pimp and expect to waltz straight in at the top? Well Swifty that is not going to happen. To say I'm disappointed that you are the best thing on offer from the company we've acquired is an understatement and I just don't understand quite how you have your belt. Let's look at the facts...spoilt my Mummy and Daddy? Probably meant you never had to defend yourself growing up. Lots of money? Probably meant that you could buy your way to the top. Ridiculous hair and wardrobe? Probably meant that you're taste is almost as crass as your persona.
Mike C wasn't rich growing up, he's got enough chips on his shoulder to keep a Mexican restaurant in business for a year...
Mike C: I didn't do things your way. I worked hard to get where I am, I bettered myself however I could and I always tried to be the best. And right now I am the best, better than anyone in this company and anyone outside of it. I'm sick of the consumerist, nepotistic culture in this country and I'm sick of punk's like you using it to reach the top. This Friday I am going to make the first of many successful world title defenses...and I am going to address a few other matters as well. CJ...you may have been able to buy your way to the top of 4CCW but I guarantee that you're in for a rude awakening here in USPW and I can't wait to dole out the punishment on you...
And we fade to black. Looks like Mike C means business, looks like he's no great fan of CJ Swift. Friday night should be awesome...but it just got a whole lot more interesting...
What? I'm a narrator, I only read the crap that I'm paid to!
Mike C wins! Mike C wins! MIKE C WINS!
Sorry to channel a well known Oklahoma native but boy am I excited! USPW's resident America-basher is now USPW's World Champion and your narrator is rather excited about it! Next task...holding onto the gold.
Wrestlefest seems a lifetime ago now but boy was it quite a show, and the promise of all this 4CCW talent flooding the roster makes it all the more exciting. But it's the main event of freedom that will see the excellence of Wrestlefest and the excitement of the new arrivals collide...Mike C vs. CJ Swift...title for title.
USPW fans might not be aware of CJ Swift..."The Platinum Prince"...other than his turn on commentary and subsequent assault after the main event at Wrestlefest. But don't worry, Classy Mike C has prepared something to whet your appetites for the big match...
And that's where we open...a cartoon. Remember Ducktales? Remember the theme music? God the 90s were awesome. Well that's where we begin...the Ducktales music kicks in...the video start...and yes, it's the Ducktales intro...except...except instead of Scrooge McDuck we've got the "Platinum Prince"...or at least we've got his head crudely super imposed on Scrooge McDuck's body. So we see him swimming around in his vault full of money, we see him hanging out with Screwy, Huey and Dewey (or whatever the hell they were called), we see him as a cartoon. And then when all that fun is over we cut...cut to the World Champion in his locker room.
Mike C is admiring his belt. Let's make one thing clear; he won't be trading this one in for a United Kingdom belt anytime soon. Oh no, he's champion of the whole, entire world now. Somalia? He's champion of there! Luxembourg? Yep! French Guyana? You know it! Mike C is literally everyone's champion. And that gives him quite a wonderful platform.
Mike C: Wrestlefest...the completion of two months hard work...the night that my mission became fully-formed...the night that America stopped being the United States of America and started being the USA!
I think he means it in the United Soldiers of Anarchy sense...
Mike C: What a night it was...and I tip my cap to my opponents. Phanny, I beat you black and blue...and you still made it to the ring. Sure you came third, but think about it this way...in a threesome you did the best! And Mark Force...for all your hot pocketing and lack of wrestling nous you were a noble opponent. I believe you're questioning joining forces with the USA because of my cohorts? Well...there's many conversations to be had and I'm sure we'll be having them soon. But my focus isn't on you gentlemen now...my focus is one the man who personifies everything I hate about this country...my focus is on "The Platinum Prince"...
Uh-oh Swifty, Mike C does not look happy. Sure Phantom annoys him and Mark Force confuses him but you look to have pissed him right off. Not a good idea.
Mike C: C...J...Swift. It's strange, the one time in my life that USPW fans have actually applauded me was soon followed by you cowardly attacking me. What does that say about being supported by the USPW faithful? You come over here from 4CCW dressed like a cartoon pimp and expect to waltz straight in at the top? Well Swifty that is not going to happen. To say I'm disappointed that you are the best thing on offer from the company we've acquired is an understatement and I just don't understand quite how you have your belt. Let's look at the facts...spoilt my Mummy and Daddy? Probably meant you never had to defend yourself growing up. Lots of money? Probably meant that you could buy your way to the top. Ridiculous hair and wardrobe? Probably meant that you're taste is almost as crass as your persona.
Mike C wasn't rich growing up, he's got enough chips on his shoulder to keep a Mexican restaurant in business for a year...
Mike C: I didn't do things your way. I worked hard to get where I am, I bettered myself however I could and I always tried to be the best. And right now I am the best, better than anyone in this company and anyone outside of it. I'm sick of the consumerist, nepotistic culture in this country and I'm sick of punk's like you using it to reach the top. This Friday I am going to make the first of many successful world title defenses...and I am going to address a few other matters as well. CJ...you may have been able to buy your way to the top of 4CCW but I guarantee that you're in for a rude awakening here in USPW and I can't wait to dole out the punishment on you...
And we fade to black. Looks like Mike C means business, looks like he's no great fan of CJ Swift. Friday night should be awesome...but it just got a whole lot more interesting...
What? I'm a narrator, I only read the crap that I'm paid to!