TV Tournament Match: Jasper Locke vs Mark Force

[Mr. Mischoff]

You guys RP here.

[Mark Force]

“The most difficult thing in life is to know yourself.”
-Thales, Greek Philosopher

ACT I

Fade in to Frank Force...barely alive...laying on a couch. A really dirty, nasty couch. The room is dark...and probably smelly. I mean..the signs are all there. Old food wrappers, pizza boxes from every greasy place imaginable are strewn about the floor. 10 day old milk...still in the jug. It’s nearly impossible to tell whether this overweight, beer-bellied character is alive...or just REALLY REALLY asleep.

A phone rings.

Force : A phone? I haven’t paid my bill in months?

A knock at the door. The ringing, coming from behind the door, stops. A man yells from behind the door.

Voice : Mark? I’m looking for Mark Force.

Force : He’s fricken dead, bro. Get with the program.

Voice : What? He...he...he died?

Frank Force gets up, slowly. He trudges over to the door and wipes his stained hands on his stained tank-top. He throws open the door. Standing in the doorway is a pretty sketchy dude. Think Tim Olyphant in “A Man Apart”. Sketchy like that.

Sketchy Dude : Sheez, man. He cannot be dead. Can-not. I’m so screwed, I already told them he’d be there!!! I already took the hundred thousand.

Force : Hold up, bro. A hundred thousand....dollars?

Sketchy Dude : One hundred thousand American dollars, bro. I’m screwed. Mark's old stomping grounds, XPW, is doing a reunion show. They gave me 100k to recruit Mark for the show. They want him BAD. So....I lied to them. I told them I knew where he was hiding...and thats why they fronted me the money. I am royally screwed.

Frank stopped. He stared blankly at the fast-talking sketchy bastard standing before him. Sketchy dude started to cry.

Force : Dude. I have an idea.

Sketchy Dude : Dude?

Force : Dude. Yes. Mark Force is very much alive. He’s my brother. Twin brother. I was better than him at everything...but somehow he became the star. A few years back, he retired to South Africa. No phone. No internet. Just him and his little African princess. You know what, though? I’m better than Mark Force. I just need to cultivate a little bit of this fat right here (grabs and shakes a handful of disgusting, hairy, belly)...and we’re in business. I can throw down with the best of them. I may be a little bit rusty.....but shit....for 100k? I will be Mark Force.

Sketchy Dude : I don’t know, man. Mark was a hero to these people. While you do look … sort of like him...I don’t think it’ll work.

Force : Fine. You’d better book a trip to Mexico, then. I don’t think anyone would react well to being robbed of 100 thousand dollars.

Cue an awesome montage!
Frank and Sketchy Dude visit local gyms.
They interview many trainers
They stop for cheeseburgers.
They run uphill. Sweating.
They run downhill. Sweating.
They run up....no, my bad. More cheeseburgers.
Fast forward to the night of XPW’s Reunion Show. Frank is sitting in the locker room alone. He stares off in the distance as he wraps his wrist. Sketchy Dude, though we don’t call him that anymore, sits down next to him as he closes his cell phone.

Formerly Sketchy Dude...now Ryan Barrett : Frank. We gotta talk, man. I know you’re gonna kill it out there tonight. Where do we go after that, though?

Force : I hadn’t really thought of it, man. We’ve been so focused on this night. I’m about to make enough money to get blasted every night for a year.

Barrett : Seriously , man. What if you didn’t get “blasted every night for a year”? What if you kept training? What if you did this full time?

Force : Full time? Just how is that going to work?

Barrett : Despite what I believed was humanly possible...you actually whipped up into sorta-shape. We could make this work.

Force : Ain’t nobody gonna hire Mark Force’s old, no-name brother.

Barrett : Yea, but they’d hire Mark Force. Lets just keep it up. It doesn’t have to stop here. Matter of fact...it won’t stop here. I took the liberty of making some phone calls for you, Mark.

Force : Don’t call me Mark, man. Creeps me out.

Barrett : The USPW is interested in MARK FORCE, man. I’ve already brokered us a deal.

Barrett : They’re faxing paperwork over to your apartment right now.

Force :What the hell is "faxing"?

Barrett : Don’t worry about it. Go out there. Give the people what they’ve been missing. Don’t just act like Mark...BECOME MARK.

Force : I don’t know, that sounds like some incest stuff right there (snickers).

Ryan pushes Mark playfully. They hug....but it’s a totally heterosexual hug...I promise. Mark may have gotten a little chubbed up...but it’s just the excitement from the big night.

CUE ANOTHER MONTAGE!
Linkin Park’s “What Ive Done” hits.
Mark enters the ring to a huge pop. He high fives the fans on the way to the ring.
He and Bubba enter a test of strength....which Mark easily loses.
Mark gets pounded on for what seems like an eternity. He’s bleeding, and woozy.
Bubba sets Mark up for the PowerBomb....at the last second, Mark drops down.
He grabs Bubba’s neck and runs to the turnbuckle, and leaps off for the Spinning DDT.
One!
Two!
Three!
Music Stops. It’s Dark. We’re on a plane...but there’s no motherf*****g snakes anywhere to be seen. Despite that...Mark is restless. He looks out the window upon beautiful downtown DC. The plane has lowered it’s gear, and is descending for landing. He can see the Ameri-Dome, and can barely make out what’s flashing on the bright LCD....

THIS FRIDAY!!!!!
TV TOURNAMENT MATCH!!!
JASPER LOCKE!
vs
“King of Old School”
MARK FORCE!
[/center]

Force : Welp....here goes nothing...



EDIT : DIDNT REALIZE THERE WAS A RULE AGAINST PROFANITY. Tried to go back and censor. LMK if I missed something.

[Jasper Locke]

[The camera opens to a yard enclosed by a new white fence. There is a concert patio and bright green grass separating a modest brick house from the fence. The patio has a white table with a glass top and two matching chairs. In one of the chairs is a man, in red track suit, drinking from a black travel mug. The wind picks up messing up his short blond hair, as he looks up locking his light blue eyes on the camera. He sits the mug down and the camera does a close up, showing he is also wearing latex gloves.]

Locke: I am Jasper Locke and I want to thank everyone in USPW for bring me into this organization. I can't wait to show all the fans and people in the home office what I can bring to the table. I have only been back in the wrestling world for a short period of time. Though in that time I have pulled off somethings I'm very proud of. Up in Philly, I had some success in a hardcore wrestling promotion called Delany's Extreme Wrestling. I even made it out of the company as the last "24\7" Champion. Then I moved over to the International Grappling Association, where I pulled out a non-title victory over the world heavy champion. I made it to the finales of their number one continuer tournament. I was also on a solid path to be one-half of their first tag team champions before they abruptly closed down.

[Jasper smiles as he thinks back on the few accomplishments. He picks up his cup and takes another drink from the mug.]

Locke: Now I said all that knowing it means nothing, because this is wrestling. This isn't a "what have you done" business but a "what are you doing right now" business. You don't want me telling you I have won matches, you want to see me in the ring. You want me to show you that I can hang with the best and shut down the rest.

[Jasper brings his hand up to rub his chin. The latex hits his skin and he lowers his hand, quickly examining it.]

Locke: Ok, I know you are all wondering what's the deal with the gloves. Well, I am blessed with the gift of being mysophobia. In layman's terms, I am more conscious of the filth and germs that surround me. With that knowledge, I take the extra step to keep myself clean and healthy. Those extra steps that I take make my body function like a high performance machine.

[Jasper stands up out of his chair and walks to the edge of the patio.]

Locke: A machine that is ready for battle. Ready to be crowned the first USPW TV Champion. I might not be a legendary wrestler like my first opponent in this tournament. Though since my return to the ring last November I have been making large improvements in my over all abilities. What has my opponent been doing? Mark Force has been laid up, enjoying his retirement. I'm not trying to take anything away from the man, he has done some great things in his career and built a loyal fan base. I'm just stating that I have been active in the ring. I have been honing my skills, trying to make sure I am at the top of my game. I'm not worried about ring rust, well not figuratively anyways, but can Mark Force say the same thing? I'm not so sure, because you can train as much as you want but nothing substitutes for in ring action.

[Jasper steps out onto the grass and drags his shoe in a line. Black pieces of rubber fly up and it becomes clear that the grass is artificial turf.]

Locke: I have the speed and technical prowess to win this match and I plan to do just that. Then I will fight tooth and nail to win the tournament and be crowned your first TV Champion.

[Jasper Locke turns around and walks back to his chair.]

Locke: But if or some reason I don't make it the gold, I at least hope that I impress everyone. I hope that I leave Washington D.C. with more fans than when I arrived. So tune in and watch history be made.

[Jasper smiles as the camera cuts to black.]

[Mark Force]

It is very, very easy not to be offended by a book. You just have to shut it.
-Salman Rushdie

Act II

Mark pulls up to the Ameri-Dome in a beat up, rusty, crusty Ford Pinto. The thing is barely serviceable. Matter of fact, he won’t admit it, but the car died 3 times en route to the dome.

Mark Force : A hundred grand, and you’re driving me around in this crappy old Pinto? I’m a king, man. I once pulled a dude’s teeth out from his butthole. I stuck my hand up there like this (mimics a ventriloquist), and VOILA! I didn’t like the way he smiled at me after that, so, I shoved his teeth back in there. Same route through the butthole. Those Japanese fans loved it. They’re into some weird stuff, let me tell you.

Barrett : Please, man. Just...be quiet. Get us a few wins...and the paychecks will come rolling in. Then, you can buy whatever POS you want to drive. More importantly, we wont have to ride together everywhere. In the meantime...lets just get settled in to the locker room.

Mark doesn’t respond...he’s staring at the giant LCD screen advertising the upcoming event.

Barrett : This inaugural USPW event is a big deal. Management has the brains and money to compete with the best federations out there. You’ve got one hell of an opportunity.

Force : Pfft. I just wanna get paid AND GET LA.....

Barrett : (Cuts him off)I’m gonna stop you there. Security check-in is up ahead. (Starts feeling around his pockets) Damn. Ive gotta run back and grab my cell. Ill meet you in the locker room.

Mark walks up to the security guard. Mark, adorned in Fruit of the Loom sweatpants a few sizes too small and a Tony Stewart t-shirt a few sizes too big, doesn’t exactly fit the part of “World Caliber Pro Wrestler”. So...the security guard is mystified.

Security : Sir. The show isn’t for another 6 days.

Mark Force : Yea. I realize that, buddy. I’ve got to train.

Security : You can’t train with the talent sir. If you’d like to purchase a ticket, the window is ov..

Mark Force : A TICKET? You think I’d pay to see this garbage? I’m Mark Force man...my names on the damn sign.

Security : Look! Now my names up there! (Jasper Locke’s name flashes across the screen.)

Mark Force : So, you’re Jasper Locke...eh? What kind of idiot moonlights as a security guard? Bahaha.

Security : I was being facetious, sir. My name is Carl.

Mark Force : Fa-see-what?

Security : Facetious. I was pulling your chain.

Mark Force : Sheez, man. Pulling my chain? You’d better buy me dinner first, AM I RIGHT!!

Security : (Speaks into radio) Im gonna need back-up (Pulls out baton.)

Mark Force : What’re you planning on doing with that, big guy? (laughs)

The security guard raises the baton to strike when Ryan Barrett steps in. The security guard doesn’t get too many opportunities to utilize the nightstick, so he pretends he doesn’t see Ryan...

**THWACK**

Ryan Barrett buckles. Blood gushes from his forehead before he even hits the ground. Mark Force begins to pout.

Mark Force : Please! Don’t hurt me!!

Security : Sir! Put the weapon down!

Mark Force : But...I...I don’t have a weap..(chokes back tears)..weapon.

Security : Sir. I will be forced to strike again. HE’S COMING RIGHT FOR US!

**THWACK**


Fade to Black.

(Incoherent whispers)

Voice : Yes. Incoherent Whispers is the band name.

Voice : This is like some “Who’ on First” shit right here. Aw hell. He’s waking up.

As the picture gets clearer...we find ourselves in a dank, soulless, quiet room. Mark is half-awake, sprawled across a metal bed. He forces himself to speak.

Mark Force : What in the hell happened to me?

Nurse : This security guard brought you and your buddy in. He says some guy...Jasper Locke...snuck up and beat you with a baton.

Security Guard : Yea, dude. It totally wasn’t me. I mean, you’ve got the kind of face I’d probably wallop with a baton...but it wasn’t me.

The nurse shoots the security guard a quizzical look. He mouths the words : “Keep quiet, will pay you”. The nurse mouths back : “Look at that face. I’d have beaten him with 2 batons”. Mark is rubbing his head...confused.

Mark Force : Fuckin’ Jasper Locke. Dude knew he had no chance against me. Had to come at me with a baton. Nurse? How’s Ryan?

Ryan Barrett : Damn it, man...(coughing)...I feel like I just got it in the face with a nightstick. Aghhh.

Mark Force : Guys...can you give us a minute??

Security Guard : What? You two gonna make out or something?

Mark Force : No.....maybe.....Shut up, and go.

Ryan Barrett : Dude. It was not fucking Jasper Locke that did this. That numbskull security guard just wanted to beat your face in. I mean, I can’t blame him. Your face is rather baton-able.

Mark Force : Shut up man, seriously. You know how close I was to fuckin’ wildin’ out on that guy? I know it was him. Even though my brain is scrambled...I’m always thinking 2 steps ahead. Why don’t we just *pretend* like Jasper did it? Whatever alibi the dude comes up with...all we gotta do is calibrate our stories....and BOOM. He’ll go to jail, and we’ll get a first round bye in this TV Title tournament.

Ryan Barrett : Corroborate. Are you serious man? That is stu...wait. That’s actually not half-bad. You haven’t faced fresh, young competition in...well...ever. You need every advantage you can get.

Mark Force : Right....sorta. I ain’t scared or anything...It’ll just make me *that* much more fresh for the second round of this tournament. So our story is...I saw Jasper Locke hit you, and then you cried like a bitch. Then, he came at me, and fuckin’ pounded my face for like 5 minutes before I passed out, right? We’ll say it took like...148 strikes before he finally knocked me out.

Ryan Barrett : That is ludicrous.

Mark Force : You’re right. Thank you.

Ryan Barrett : Wait...what?

Mark Force : Lets get a TV crew, and cut a bad-ass promo. Then, we’ll head to the police station and file a report.

Ryan Barrett : Whoah. Hold up man. Filing a false police report is against the law.

Mark Force : ….and? The only laws I follow are GOD’s laws, sucka. I don’t see anywhere in the bible telling me that I can’t pretend I got smashed with a baton by some punk and then turn him into the cops, all in order to win a TV Title. Jesus was pretty fuckin’ specific about everything man, if he didn’t want me doing that...he’d have spoken up.

Ryan Barrett : You have *got* to be kidding me.

Mark Force : I ain’t. Get me a TV Crew....and a purple Fanta...and some Big League Chew. I’m gonna make this nasty gash on my forehead look real haggard for the TV crew. Gotta play this shit up!!!

Ryan begrudgingly makes a few phone calls. Mark lays down for a nap.

THREE HOURS LATER

The USPW camera crew shows up. Mark has a noticeably fake limp.

Mark Force : Get your butt over here, cameraman. You see this right here? (Points to his forehead) This little bastard Jasper Locke knew he had no shot against a superior opponent. He had to resort to underhanded tactics.

Cameraman Joe: Underhanded tactics?

Mark Force : Yes Cameraman Joe...underhanded tactics. Just earlier today I was minding my own business. I was flirting with these 2 super hot chicks , when I heard screams. Children’s screams. Being the hero that I am, I lowered the ability of my other senses, so my sense of hearing would become stronger. I soon realized that a bus full of retarded children was on fucking fire.

Cameraman Joe : Yea....uhhh...I don’t think you can say that on TV.

Mark Force : My bad. They were uhhh...special. Learning impaired. It was a fricken short bus. Jesus Christ man, let me finish my story. Okay, so all these little Rain Men are screaming and shit. I ran to them. They were 2 miles away, and I made it there in like 4 minutes. I could have called the Guiness Book of World Record people...but, saving those little kids was all that was on my mind. The bus was on fire, but being born with an immunity to fire...I rushed in and saved all of them. On my way back to the arena, I was super tired. Saving children is hard work. All of a sudden, I hear someone say : “Hey Mark Force. You’re ugly.” Which just isn’t true. “My name is Jasper Locke, and I’m going to kill you dead.” Which is just impossible. The little asshole then ran over me with an 18-wheeler. He knew that was the only vehicle on God’s green earth that could stun me. Then, he took out a baton. It was probably made of adamantium steel or some shit. He hit my manager, Ryan Barrett, once..and he dropped like a sack of potatoes, man. Ryan then started to cry because he’s a little bitch. I stood up, even though I had 3 broken legs, and tried to give him a DDT. Jasper Locke had 11 ninjas grab my arms and hold me down while he beat me with this adamantium baton. I lost count after 140 strikes...my body eventually gave in...and I collapsed. Id have easily been able to withstand close to 1000 strikes...but saving kids takes a lot out of you.

Cameraman Joe : …..

Ryan Barrett : …..

Mark Force : ….

Cameraman Joe : ….

Ryan Barrett : …..

Cameraman Joe : …..

Ryan Barrett : …..

Cameraman Joe : I. Uh. Wow. I.

Mark Force : I know. Jasper Locke will stoop to the lowest levels to win this match. It’s disgusting. I’m gonna take the high road, though. As much as I would love to get this guy in the ring...I’m going to have to turn him in to the police. He’ll probably go to jail...and unfortunately, I probably won’t be able to face him this Friday. I doubt he’s smart enough to have covered his tracks...but, if he were able to skirt jailtime...I’m sure Frankie Image will have a hefty punishment in store for him. So, either way, I’ll probably just stay home and train this week. Theres no way I’ll be facing a criminal like Jasper Locke. Cameraman Joe...it’s probably time you leave so I can begin preparing mentally to be the USPW TV Champion.

Cameraman Joe : …..

Cameraman Joe and his posse stare blankly. They soon snap out of it, and pack up their gear. Quietly...they return to their van...unable to comprehend what in the hell just happened.

Mark Force : Allright dude. Lets head to the Police Department.

Ryan Barrett : Yea. Im not gonna have any part of this.

Mark Force : Relinquish your keys, then.

Ryan Barrett : Not gonna happen.

Mark lets out a roar a la Mel Gibson in Braveheart. He charges Ryan. Ryan sidesteps him quite easily and Mark topples over. He immediately grabs at his ankle....

Ryan Barrett : Oh shi-------

[FADE TO BLACK]

PS : My character toes the line with his words. Im not trying to take it too far, or offend anyone. Just trying to have fun, and create a super-flawed but interesting character. Thanks.