Post by "Classy" Mike C on Oct 9, 2012 8:51:17 GMT -6
"Gold...Gold! Always believe in your soul!"
Remember that crappy song? Spandau Ballet, the 80s, terrible time for music and culture and everything apart from, arguably, professional wrestling (so long as you like your faces good, your heels bad and your America intensely annoying...).
USPW changed dramatically during At All Cost. The New Church formed, bringing together the...erm..."creme de la creme" of USPW. Well, in this narrators opinion cream rises to the top but at the same time s**t floats...
So all of USPW's gold is now in one faction...apart from one belt. The fan's belt, the belt that represents the ethos of this very company...the United States Championship.
And who now holds that belt? Why, only the "anti-American, anti-hero" himself...Classy Mike C.
Its funny though, isn't it? You know...how the so-called "New Church" have set up a little Revolution Championship match with all their members...all the champions in the company...apart from Classy Mike C.
Now we all know that Classy Mike C is, shall we say, "rather outspoken". His opinions of the rest of the USPW roster are less than complimentary and his opinions on himself are rather high, so it should come as no surprise that you're about to have another, double-barrelled assault. I'd advise anyone of a sensitive disposition to look away now...
...Oh, and Mike C is sat in his locker room...just so you can picture it...
Mike C: Two wins...one loss...one draw...At All Costs was something of a costly night. Not for me, I managed to win a battle royal AND reclaim my USPW United States Championship...and don't worry I won't be re-naming it the United Kingdom Championship any time soon...and I came within a group of thugs from winning the big one...Hell, I had three title matches and if there was any justice in this company I would be the holder of three belts right now, but no. Unfortunately...no. You see the likes of Daniel Landson, Matt Steel...basically the New Church...they act as if they're the greatest thing going. They strut around, the preen and pout and pose, but they are collectively the biggest group of con artists, shysters...heels, if you will...in this sport. These gentlemen decided that it was in their interest to stop anyone, apart from themselves, holding USPW championship gold...but unfortunately for them it only takes me 17 seconds to beat a man. Now you'd think the New Church would know plenty about finishing up in 17 seconds...in the ring...with another man...but in this case they didn't seem to be truly on top of things...
I think Mike C was making a double entendre...
Mike C: But you know what hurts, USPW? You know what gets me? The fact that regardless of that, they just seem to carry on. This whole "New Church" thing...they've put themselves into a match...all five of them...all champions...and yet...no me. How does that work? Now, surely, if there is a match containing all the champions I should be in there? But no...the oligarchy begins...and I get to face...
Mike C shudders. He physically shudders.
Mike C: Cameron Cash. I mean come on! He doesn't even sound like a respectable wrestler! Cameron...Cash...you really do expect that sort of name to appear on a card in Bogwash, Missouri where the main event is Igor the Terrible fighting a shaved bear. But, lo, it appears that Cameron has "earned" his title shot and who am I to argue? I mean sure, I am the USPW United States Champion...and the greatest superstar in USPW history...the flagship superstar, if you will...but since when has that counted for anything? Apparently it means jack with the New Church. But Camy...Cameron...Cash-Cash...you are right to be a bit...trepadatious...about facing me. You're not a top superstar, in fact you're barely a superstar...whereas I am, well, me. At Night of Champions you're going to be staring down the barrel, flem thick in your throat, and you'll be asking yourself "can I do this?". Can you really beat one of the best of all time? Can you really scale to the top of the mountain? The simple, simple answer is...no. You can't and you won't. You're not good enough, or strong enough, or clever enough to deal with me, and you probably never will be.
So...erm...think positive, eh Cameron?
Mike C: Cash, you are the mere appetiser on a night when I'm going to change the face of USPW. You are the annoying speed bump on the Mike C express and you will be flattened out. And then...New Church...gentlemen, I have something for you at Night of Champions and mark my words...go on, mark them...if I'm not in that main event with the rest of the USPW gold holders then you will live to regret it. I'm going to change the face of USPW, beyond all recognition, for the second time. New Church, consider this the age of enlightenment for USPW...people will see your flaws.
Boom...sorry, got a bit over excited there. Fighting talk from Classy Mike C, I'm sure like me you all can't wait for Night of Champions...
Remember that crappy song? Spandau Ballet, the 80s, terrible time for music and culture and everything apart from, arguably, professional wrestling (so long as you like your faces good, your heels bad and your America intensely annoying...).
USPW changed dramatically during At All Cost. The New Church formed, bringing together the...erm..."creme de la creme" of USPW. Well, in this narrators opinion cream rises to the top but at the same time s**t floats...
So all of USPW's gold is now in one faction...apart from one belt. The fan's belt, the belt that represents the ethos of this very company...the United States Championship.
And who now holds that belt? Why, only the "anti-American, anti-hero" himself...Classy Mike C.
Its funny though, isn't it? You know...how the so-called "New Church" have set up a little Revolution Championship match with all their members...all the champions in the company...apart from Classy Mike C.
Now we all know that Classy Mike C is, shall we say, "rather outspoken". His opinions of the rest of the USPW roster are less than complimentary and his opinions on himself are rather high, so it should come as no surprise that you're about to have another, double-barrelled assault. I'd advise anyone of a sensitive disposition to look away now...
...Oh, and Mike C is sat in his locker room...just so you can picture it...
Mike C: Two wins...one loss...one draw...At All Costs was something of a costly night. Not for me, I managed to win a battle royal AND reclaim my USPW United States Championship...and don't worry I won't be re-naming it the United Kingdom Championship any time soon...and I came within a group of thugs from winning the big one...Hell, I had three title matches and if there was any justice in this company I would be the holder of three belts right now, but no. Unfortunately...no. You see the likes of Daniel Landson, Matt Steel...basically the New Church...they act as if they're the greatest thing going. They strut around, the preen and pout and pose, but they are collectively the biggest group of con artists, shysters...heels, if you will...in this sport. These gentlemen decided that it was in their interest to stop anyone, apart from themselves, holding USPW championship gold...but unfortunately for them it only takes me 17 seconds to beat a man. Now you'd think the New Church would know plenty about finishing up in 17 seconds...in the ring...with another man...but in this case they didn't seem to be truly on top of things...
I think Mike C was making a double entendre...
Mike C: But you know what hurts, USPW? You know what gets me? The fact that regardless of that, they just seem to carry on. This whole "New Church" thing...they've put themselves into a match...all five of them...all champions...and yet...no me. How does that work? Now, surely, if there is a match containing all the champions I should be in there? But no...the oligarchy begins...and I get to face...
Mike C shudders. He physically shudders.
Mike C: Cameron Cash. I mean come on! He doesn't even sound like a respectable wrestler! Cameron...Cash...you really do expect that sort of name to appear on a card in Bogwash, Missouri where the main event is Igor the Terrible fighting a shaved bear. But, lo, it appears that Cameron has "earned" his title shot and who am I to argue? I mean sure, I am the USPW United States Champion...and the greatest superstar in USPW history...the flagship superstar, if you will...but since when has that counted for anything? Apparently it means jack with the New Church. But Camy...Cameron...Cash-Cash...you are right to be a bit...trepadatious...about facing me. You're not a top superstar, in fact you're barely a superstar...whereas I am, well, me. At Night of Champions you're going to be staring down the barrel, flem thick in your throat, and you'll be asking yourself "can I do this?". Can you really beat one of the best of all time? Can you really scale to the top of the mountain? The simple, simple answer is...no. You can't and you won't. You're not good enough, or strong enough, or clever enough to deal with me, and you probably never will be.
So...erm...think positive, eh Cameron?
Mike C: Cash, you are the mere appetiser on a night when I'm going to change the face of USPW. You are the annoying speed bump on the Mike C express and you will be flattened out. And then...New Church...gentlemen, I have something for you at Night of Champions and mark my words...go on, mark them...if I'm not in that main event with the rest of the USPW gold holders then you will live to regret it. I'm going to change the face of USPW, beyond all recognition, for the second time. New Church, consider this the age of enlightenment for USPW...people will see your flaws.
Boom...sorry, got a bit over excited there. Fighting talk from Classy Mike C, I'm sure like me you all can't wait for Night of Champions...