Post by eunit on Aug 2, 2012 2:23:38 GMT -6
The shot opens in a dimly lit hotel room.The lights from the camera glisten in and out on the eyes of e-unit. He rests in a chair. He reaches around and pulls his laptop around to make a video post on his personal webpage.
E: The probable delay of progress has forced my hand, and drove me out of retirement. Just days after making an announcement that shook pro wrestling to its core in announcing my retirement NWF head officials decide to merge with, with, with? Well a company that's run by mediocre management, a roster that's about as over with the fans as colon cancer, and a booking staff that hasn't came up with a good enough card to sellout an arena in years. Its even more pathetic USPW sales more brown paper bags than real merchandise. Well that was until E-unit showed up. With my business savvy USPW has now decided to give you the bag for free. All you have to do is buy the USPW toilet paper I mean tee shirt, but it does double as toilet paper however, and the bag is yours free of charge. So now you won't have to worry about your face being shown on USPW programming because you don't want to be famous for that. The mystery fan is probably the coolest thing USPW has going on for them.
E pauses and smiles at the camera.
E: Now on to the merger itself. Why in blue blazes would these two come together. It makes no sense expected for the fact my initial retirement drove NWF stock prices down that a merger was all that could of saved us this side of a full buy out. Well I'm here to tell you fans that a merger is bad for business. If the true talent was held down before just think of where there at now. The little man lost. The show openers and curtain jerker has no shot now. Cause some people are all worried about holding onto a spot. Well its drawn me out of retirement and now as general manager of revolution I'm going to tell you that there's a fresh new movement on the horizon everyone gets a chance. WAR's returned ten fold.
A sinister laugh is heard as the shot fades.
E: The probable delay of progress has forced my hand, and drove me out of retirement. Just days after making an announcement that shook pro wrestling to its core in announcing my retirement NWF head officials decide to merge with, with, with? Well a company that's run by mediocre management, a roster that's about as over with the fans as colon cancer, and a booking staff that hasn't came up with a good enough card to sellout an arena in years. Its even more pathetic USPW sales more brown paper bags than real merchandise. Well that was until E-unit showed up. With my business savvy USPW has now decided to give you the bag for free. All you have to do is buy the USPW toilet paper I mean tee shirt, but it does double as toilet paper however, and the bag is yours free of charge. So now you won't have to worry about your face being shown on USPW programming because you don't want to be famous for that. The mystery fan is probably the coolest thing USPW has going on for them.
E pauses and smiles at the camera.
E: Now on to the merger itself. Why in blue blazes would these two come together. It makes no sense expected for the fact my initial retirement drove NWF stock prices down that a merger was all that could of saved us this side of a full buy out. Well I'm here to tell you fans that a merger is bad for business. If the true talent was held down before just think of where there at now. The little man lost. The show openers and curtain jerker has no shot now. Cause some people are all worried about holding onto a spot. Well its drawn me out of retirement and now as general manager of revolution I'm going to tell you that there's a fresh new movement on the horizon everyone gets a chance. WAR's returned ten fold.
A sinister laugh is heard as the shot fades.